Well, this is weird.

I just wished "someone" a happy birthday. I actually sang it to them on the phone. I have never done that for anyone else, ever. It was kind of weird for me, for more than one reason, apart form the singing). I keep wondering why I do this to myself and why I keep going on. I really don't know, well I do. I really hope that this someone doesn't read this (though I am still going to write it as if you are). That will make things between us even more awkward.

If you know me, then you most likely know who this is and if you don't then a name won't matter to you anyways.

I am going to dinner today with this person, to a very nice(read $$$) restaurant which I have heard is very good. I still have to go buy a present today on my lunch break. I am not quite sure what to get because i don't know if they will use/wear it.

The problem stems from this new boyfriend this person has. He sounds like a truly nice guy and I wish him all the best (If he ever reads this: "Dude, you don't know how lucky you are, don't fuck it up like I did. You will regret it for the rest of your life"). He, however, doesn't want to meet me for some reason. I find that kind of weird and insulting to be honest.

I really hope you like it . (your present)

I was also going to write you a letter. It was going to consist of exerts of songs that would seem to "fit" very well right about now. I don't think I am going to do that though. I think if I do then I might say more than is appropriate for our level of friendship. And that wouldn't be fair towards you.

I think I have done enough damage as it is. I am not going to ruin the good thing you have going for you.

I told you I will never, ever do what I did again. In more way than one. I will never hurt you like that again. I will never ask that much of you again, because it's just not fair.

I just want you to know that if you ever need anything at all, I am here for you. Always.

I am happy you are happy and that's all that matters.

Have an absolutely great birthday.

Never forget: I still love you, I will always love you regardless of what I do or say. No matter how far away we are or who we are with I will always be beside you.

You "[are] the girl for [me]".

-Stilian

P.S. I know you have waited a very long time to hear this so here it is, though it is too late by now:

"I love you hun, no matter what anyone says. I want to be with you, now and always, regardless of what comes in our way.

You mean more to me than you'll ever know and I wouldn't want to lose you because you are the best part of me.

I love you."